Watching your husband’s eyes dart towards a pretty girl walking by can be frustrating, annoying, and insulting, even if he doesn’t mean it that way.
You may never be able to get him to avoid looking altogether, but you can certainly get him to understand why it bothers you, and direct his attention back towards you. When you notice your husband looking, be sure to consider why he is doing it. Once you know that, you can approach him about it and maybe change his behavior a little bit.
Here are 9 ways to get your husband to quit checking out other beautiful women.
1. Determine what kind of look it was. Consider the way your husband is looking at these women.
There is a difference between a quick glance, which can be a biological reflex, or a lingering stare, which is disrespectful both to you and the other woman.
Consider any other behavior he exhibits while looking. Additional action like a gaping mouth, tongue-wagging, or making comments are inappropriate, and it is quite alright for you to feel uncomfortable with that.
2. Remain Calm
It will do neither of you any good to get angry right away. It is likely to make him more defensive. At that point, he may start blaming you for whatever arguing you do next, rather than considering ways to change it.
So the best thing to do is to stay calm, and handle the matter maturely rather than making it escalate to something else.
3. Use Non-Verbal Cues To Get His Attention
Sometimes your husband is only momentarily distracted by what he sees. A gentle reminder that you are still there, like touching his arm, can snap his attention back to you. It can also be a subtle way to get back his attention while not openly stating that you saw him looking.
4. Acknowledge And Laugh It Off
Just because your husband is looking at a pretty girl doesn’t mean he doesn’t find you attractive. Saying so out loud to him lets your husband know that you saw him, but that you still want him talking to you. A friendly reminder like this can remind him of what’s important, while also having a little bit of fun.
It is okay to acknowledge that some people are just really good looking, or dressed well. Openly communicating about anything is the sign of a healthy relationship, and your ability to speak positively about another woman’s attractiveness will help him feel more comfortable with you.
5. Wait To Have The Conversation
You don’t want to immediately start yelling at your husband’s looking. That will only make him more defensive about his actions, or turn the conversation back onto you and your reaction. Instead, talk about it later when you two are alone.
Waiting to talk can also help if you think your husband is trying to get a reaction out of you. When you don’t respond or acknowledge his actions, he will eventually notice. From there, he will certainly want to talk, which gives you an opportunity to discuss your feelings more in depth.
6. Focus on your emotions with I feel statements
When you talk to your husband, using I feel statements is a good way to get your ideas across without necessarily accusing him of doing something deliberately wrong. This puts the focus on your emotions, which you can interpret and control, rather than trying to guess at his motivations.
Try using statements like I feel unattractive when I see you look at other women, or You make me feel unattractive when you look at other women, rather than I can’t believe you looked at that women! They are less accusatory, and give him an opening to explain his actions.
7. Be Honest About Your Feelings
Whenever you talk to your husband about his looking, be clear about that fact that him looking at women bothers you.
If you want your husband to be honest about his actions with you, it is only fair that you are honest with him. Besides, if he doesn’t know that it bothers you, he won’t know that he needs to change his behavior.
8. Avoid Shaming Him For His Behavior
You want your husband to be open with you, so it is important to not shame him if he does admit to staring or looking. Instead keep the focus on your feelings. You want him to think about you, and how his behavior affects how you feel.
9. Notice His Reaction
It is a good sign if he responds by reassuring you about how it is unrelated to his feelings for you. On the other hand if he becomes defensive, or accuses you of overreacting, that suggests he is not thinking enough about your feelings and how his behavior impacts them.
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